Wow!!!!!!!!!!! That is the best word to describe the family meeting today. They dressed Kailyn and Jacob up to meet their brother. Jaryd was a little worried about the meeting I think. Kailyn came straight to him and gave him a hug. Daddy wasn’t fast enough with the camera to catch it. It was amazing. Jacob still isn’t quite sure. But as you see at the end of the pictures they ended with a great big hug. Jaryd can’t wait until tomorrow to go and see them again. Jacob seems as though it may be a little hard for him to share his sister. He has been her protector and now there is a new one. He will have to learn to share her. He can protect Alyssa now too.
We went and had pizza after the visit. Jaryd was okay with that today. He just wanted some ice cream. Alyssa forgot her ring at the pizza place so we had to walk back there again.
Hope you enjoy the pictures of their time together. Jaryd was a great big brother. He was helping with Kailyn and Jacob both. It was fun to see him. He couldn’t stop smiling. I have never seen him so happy.
Alyssa is feeling better today and so are Jacob and Kailyn. It will just take time to get over this cold. Jaryd does seem better too. The weather is still cool. School started here today and the town was a buzz. They were all dressed in suits and dresses to go to school for the first day. They said this is normal for the first day. The streets were extra busy today.
We are leaving to go take Jaryd back so I will talk to you again later.
Kevin, Tammy, Jaryd, Jacob, Alyssa, and Kailyn
Monday, September 1, 2008
Posted by Kevin and Tammy at 11:06 AM
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3 comments:
What a wonderful day! Thank you for sharing! ;) Kristina
What a neat day! I remember the shell-shock of both our boys when we were finally able to reunite them. It definatley wasn't one of those "made for TV movie moments." Matthew didn't remember Joseph and Joseph only remembered Matthew as a tiny baby. He knew he had a brother, but he couldn't remember his name. Neither one knew how to respond to this new "development" in their lives once they were finally reunited...Matthew suddenly having another brother that would also be sharing his Mama, and Joseph having his baby brother be much bigger and very differnt than he remembered. Poor Amanda just stood there on the side lines not knowing what to make of any of it.
It will take some time for Jacob to give up being the mother. Perhaps, Jaryd, too. Even now, more than a year later, Joseph still tries to move in and be Matthew's protector. He frequently still tries to completely take over the roll of mom, which annoys Matthew to death. He doesn't remember Joseph ever protecting him...but that's the only relationship Joseph remembers and the one he still reverts to when he doesn't know what else to do.
Oh yah - just because they want to be protectors doesn't mean they won't be master annoyers as well. Amanda is mostly just plain out annoyed with Matthew most of the time...and also tries to parent him. Most of the time it is a struggle just to get her to like him. Joseph is also quick to pummel his brother, which only leads to Matthew screaming like a fire engine at the top of his lungs, throwing stuff around, running around like a crazy mad man (gotta love PTSD!) and then scratching their eyes out - literally. It's so fun!
Enjoy the time you have with them now and spend as much time as possible with all 4 of your babies playing together in their environment. It will help a lot in the coming weeks after they come home.
Another thing you may want to consider is have someone move all of Alyssa's "special" toys to someplace that is just hers and where her new brothers and sister won't have access to them. Right now, everything at home is still Alyssa's. It's all she's ever known. It's going to be hard for her to share...especially with three new siblings who don't have a sense of ownership (everything belongs to everyone.) Obviously, some things are going to have to be shared, but some things don't. Keeping some things that are JUST Alyssa's will help a lot in her transition as well.
We had someone do this with some of Amanda's stuff and are really glad we did. Some of it we didn't end up pulling out for several months after we got home because the boys simply couldn't handle it, but still having HER important stuff still be just HERS and kept safe has made a big difference to her...and really does now that the boys are finally getting the concept of ownership and playing nice and sharing.
It took Anastasia about three years to stop trying to be the mother and let me be in charge, and she is still very influential in the lives of the younger two.
Janalyn still has a bit of trouble with the sense of ownership. The other two have a pretty good understanding of the concept, so when Janalyn "borrows" their things it causes great battles. Of course, great battles are to be expected when you have three teenage girls who are within two and a half years of each other. There is always something to be jealous or angry or frustrated about.
There is a great program in Ruidoso, New Mexico that you might want to take advantage of that will help deal with the language, trauma and sensory issues. It is based on the work of Alfred Tomatis, whose work has been popularized as The Mozart Effect. the program is a very pure and rigorous form of his program with art and movement added to make it fun. Let me know if you want more information.You probably wouldn't want to do it right away but might want to try it within a couple of years. The program is reasonably common in Europe but there are only five or six places in the United States you can get it.
Lynn
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