I have read about two families in the last week who have come home heartbroken. It breaks my heart to hear this news. It breaks my heart for these families and for the children that missed the opportunity to be taken from the orphanage. We have been thinking about the possibility that this could happen to us. I know that this fear is from Satan, but it is also a real possibility that we must face.
We must be prepared. Please keep all the couples that are there and that are going to travel in August in your prayers that they will be able to find that child that God has for them. I am confused why God allows the process to go so far and then to have disappointment. I know that "all things work together for good to those who love the Lord," I guess one day we will be revealed the reason behind this disappointment.
God has a plan, we must be ready for whatever that plan may be. Please pray for uplifiting for our family. This is very hard.
Tammy
Friday, July 25, 2008
Heart broken families
Posted by Kevin and Tammy at 7:46 AM
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5 comments:
Ukraine is tough no matter when you go...and unfortunately, not everyone does have their dreams fulfilled there. Sometimes it ins't about God at all. It is about people using their own God-given agency to make inappropriate choices. I'm not speaking just of adoptive families, either. Many chioces are made by officials in Ukraine that are selfish in nature and counterproductive to children finding families.
Unfortuntately, many of the officials don't support adoption, especially international adoption. Many of them really don't like Americans, either. So they do whatever they can to make things as difficult as possible on both ends. There is also a marked difference in how children are viewed there. Whether we like it or not, there are still some left over Stallinist attitudes ingrained in their culture and they do drive many of the decisions that are made.
All I can say is keep the faith, be prepared for a wild, wicked ride and be very, very, very flexible. In all honstey, being flexible means accepting the possiblity that your Kailyn will be a Kaleb, that she'll be the big sister, that she will come as part of a package deal, or that she will be very sick. Also be prepared not to be told the truth about almost every situation, inlcuding your child's health status and details about their former life.
Believe me, I don't say that to be an alarmist or to be negative. In fact, I've really debated about whether to even post this comment, especially so close to your travel time. But I decided to do so because it's from the heart and also from one who's been there, done that, seen how things REALLY work over there, and had things turn out absolutely NOTHING like we anticiapted or had ever read about.
We felt very strongly that there were two children for us in Ukraine, but that's about all. We were anticipating adopting a 5 or 6year old boy and 4-5 year old girl. We ended up adopting two boys ages 7 and not yet 3, both with far more significant health and emotional challenges that we were initially prepared for.
However, we have no doubt that these are the two children we were sent to find. God really did know better than anyone...and I shudder to think how easily we could have missed our boys had WE tried to control the process. God knew who our children really were were all along and He also knew the end from the beginning. He has also provided ways for us to get the help we really need for them to heal as well.
I am still amazed at how carefully every single detail of our trip was orchestrated - some of which we didn't realize were so significant until much later. It was things like having a bird's eye view of a funeral procession passing outside our hotel window and being able to snap a photo of nearly the whole thing - never realizing at the time how vitally important that photo would be to our son's healing process.
Tomorrow marks our one year anniversary since bringing them home. It has been an amazing year full of ups and downs and many wonderful firsts. It hasn't been easy by any means, but it HAS been worth it - and I'd do it all again if I could...and I'd still adopt the same two kids, too. Life just doesn't get any better than having your little son, who was the surprise of your life and has some serious trauma issues, come in, snuggle up to you, and say "I love my mom!"
I'm looking forward to seeing how your journey really turns out. No matter what happens, I guarantee it will change your life forever. It is hard, and it is scary. But keep holding onto faith and it WILL turn out how it is supposed to. Best wishes on your travels and many prayers that your trip will be successful!
Proverbs 3: 5-6 (KJV)
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy way acknowledge him and HE shall direct thy paths."
God does not waste an experience, even when difficult to find a "why" at first. I think your heart is to be open to the adventure God has you on. We are one of those couples that knew the moment we saw our son's profile he was OURS, even though he was EVERYTHING we said we didn't want, over the age of six, with moderate cerebral palsy. It's been a perfect fit for our familY! If we had not met him, we would not be going back for a girl we met at his orphanage... May God continue to grant you peace and wisdom!
I want to encourage you, but yet don't really have the words. As Diana says, it can be an incredibly rough ride for some and for others as smooth as silk. For us it was a pretty bumpy ride but in the end worked out beautifully (check out findingmaddie dot blogspot dot com for details). In the end I wouldn't trade Maddie for anything, although she is nothing like what we had imagined. All I can do is encourage you to take this trip on faith, after all He's had the whole thing planned out since the beginning of time. ;>)
PS: I also loved your blog layout so much I got one of my own from "Cutest blog on the block" www.jerdebwalker.blogspot.com
Thanks!
It is difficult to step out in faith, but whatever the reason you are being called to Ukraine - go. I am not going to lie to you, it is difficult being over here in Ukraine. I don't know the reasons for the heartaches, but I think anyone who has been here to adopt has had many tough decisions to make! We'll be praying for you!
Staci
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